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Say what?!: Becoming a mom (and other life surprises!)

Becoming a mom was definitely not part of the plan at this point in my story. But life has a way of giving you just what you need (and never more than you can handle!) These are just passing thoughts, and the little surprises I've had along my journey. ❤️

Month

August 2016

Birth plans? That’s a nice thought. 

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. That is a bad habit I tend to have with blogs, neglecting them. But that’s not the case this time. 

Nope.

This time I have a good reason… I had my beautiful baby boy.

It has been quite the experience. Early labor started on Wednesday, but the hospital sent me home until contractions became more regular. Thursday morning, my partner and I went to a regularly schedule doctor’s appointment, and let me tell you, things were starting to hurt. So we ventured to the hospital right away. By 12 pm on Thursday, we were admitted and our labor journey has begun. 

And for a first time mom, having a plan ended up being a bit pointless. I had NO idea what to expect going in, and trying to plan just did NOT work. 

By 8 pm, the pain had become too much for me. So I said, epidural? Bring it on. And MAN am I glad I did. It made all the difference. The problem? The epidural changed how my contractions came, and dilation took a turn. Things just weren’t working. My body wasn’t cooperating, and by 12 am, I hadn’t dilated in almost 5 hours, and my baby had turned. 

To top things off, I developed a fever and risked getting an infection. This prompted the doctor to bring on the dreaded news…. A c-section was necessary. 

I was so nervous. And getting a c-section was NOT what I wanted (not that I think anything is wrong with them, but I was not prepared for a surgery or the recovery time that came with it). 

But on we went to the operating room. The actual surgery was not bad at all. The surgical team was amazing and really put me at ease. And my partner was great and by my side. By 1:31 am on Friday morning, my son was brought into this world. 

And nothing else from that day mattered. ❤️

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Nesting? Or stress cleaning?

I’ve always been the type of person who tends to clean mostly when I’m stressed, angry, avoiding my feelings. Any given day, you can’t MAKE me clean (unless company is on the way, that is).

With being pregnant, my biggest symptom has been exhaustion. I am ALWAYS TIRED. Seriously. If I could nap 18 hours of the day, I could. Easily.

But not today. Today has me WIDE awake. I’m talking up since 3 am doing things. Laundry, prepping freezer meals, and still stopping for the odd movie break.

My friend thinks this is the “nesting” phase that women tend to get just before the baby arrives.

But I wonder, could this be me avoiding my feelings as usual?

I worry that I don’t have our place prepared for baby. I worry that my partner is not ready for the baby (but that’s a conversation we haven’t had yet). I worry about the unknowns that lay ahead of me (ahem, mainly the painful parts, such as labor…)

But being worried about things like that is normal, right?

Back to cleaning, I go! ❤️

Let’s start from the beginning. 

Hey there, blogger world.

My name is Angeline. Writing has always been a favorite pastime for me, but unfortunately something I do not do as much as I’d like anymore. 

Let me introduce myself and give a little bit of a back story to why I decided to start this blog. 

I’m 27 years old, and currently 38 weeks pregnant with my first child. My current story was an unexpected one. Let’s rewind to one year ago… 

One year ago, I was in an unhealthy relationship. A dishonest one, with someone you might use the term “f**kboy” for. He was, admittedly a bit of a rebound after I got out of an 8 year relationship. Hey, we don’t always make the smartest choices, right?

 October 2015 – having realized my bad choice of partner with the “f**kboy”, I was newly single, I decided to play around on the popular app “Tinder” (ick. I know.) to pass time. My second day on the app, I started talking to a guy (who was 3 years younger than I was) who sparked an interest for me. The conversation was unique and fun. It came naturally and it was easy. Comfortable. 

So I stopped talking to anyone else and decided to see where this new connection led. We talked for 2 weeks through text and then decided to meet for coffee. And still, there was that connection. Which was great, because I was so over wasting time on people who didn’t deserve my time and attention. 

January 2016 – a week into the new year was when our story really took a turn. Surprise! I was 2 months pregnant! Not exactly what you expect to happen SO early into a relationship. 

Let’s not forget, dating in this day and age is HARD. This current generation fears commitment. Fears defining the boundaries of relationships. Fears getting tied down with titles of “what we are”… And that’s exactly the obstacle we encountered. 

With the news of this little surprise, we were forced to have those hard conversations. Define what we were, decide where we might see this going, and really figure out what we wanted to do next. 

We decided to stick together. Talk about instant family, am I right?! We recognized that we had a real connection, and would probably stay together longer term even without a baby on the way, so we knew we could prepare for this baby together. Over the last several months we definitely saw some ups and downs. It’s been hard. We became an instant family while still getting to know each other as individuals. And while I had been in serious relationships before, he hadn’t. Scary, I know. 

Fast forward to today…

We live together. We’ve overcome a lot of struggles together. But right now, we are happy. He’s become a great support system for me. We almost feel prepared for this little bundle of joy to arrive. And I know that we are going to rock being parents, and learn what to do together. 

So there’s an outline of my story. I hope to use this blog to write about my adventures (and misadventures!). To connect with other parents who are going through similar experiences. And to hopefully help me through the ups and downs that I know come along with being a new parent. 

I really do believe that life has a way of giving you exactly what you need, even if you don’t know what that is. And with our story, that’s exactly what happened. ❤️

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